GHOSTING: THE QUIET RESIGNATION WE’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT
Why ghosting at work is on the rise – and what leaders can do about it
GHOSTING: THE QUIET RESIGNATION WE’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT
Why ghosting at work is on the rise – and what leaders can do about it
HELLO – IS ANYBODY THERE?
Our latest recruit came in for her first day. Bright, engaged, well-prepared – everything we’d hoped for in a new team member. We’d spent hours recruiting, onboarding, and introducing her to the team.
Day Two? Nothing.
No call, no email, no explanation. We were genuinely worried. Had something happened? HR followed up with her. The manager texted. Still silence.
Eventually, word came through – she’d decided the role wasn’t for her. No conversation, no closure. Just… gone.
It left us concerned, then stunned, and a little disheartened.
And it’s not an isolated experience. This is ghosting. And it’s creeping into workplace culture more than we like to admit.
What is ghosting, and where does it show up?
Ghosting occurs when someone stops replying or disappears from communication without explanation. We tend to associate it with dating apps or friendships, but it’s just as common at work:
- Candidates ghosting after interviews, or even after accepting an offer.
- Employers ghosting candidates after multiple rounds of interviews.
- New hires failing to show up for Day One – or, as in my experience, Day Two.
A recent study highlighted that nearly 80% of job seekers report being ghosted by prospective employers during the hiring process. Conversely, employers are increasingly experiencing candidate ghosting, with some reporting that up to 25% of new hires fail to show up on their first day. Another survey revealed that 34% of Gen Z job hunters in South Australia admitted to ghosting potential employers multiple times. LinkedIn found that 51% of Aussies were ghosted during their job search in 2024.
It’s frustrating, a waste of time and energy, sometimes hurtful, and almost always confusing. And in workplaces, it’s a growing symptom of a bigger issue: avoidance.
The rise of ghosting correlates with generational shifts in communication styles. While Gen X professionals often view non-responsiveness as unprofessional, younger generations, particularly Gen Z, may perceive ghosting as a normative behaviour.
But ghosting isn’t just poor etiquette – it’s often a signal of emotional discomfort, fear of confrontation, or a lack of accountability.
SO, Why does ghosting feel so personal?
Ghosting triggers the same part of the brain associated with social rejection and even physical pain. You’re left trying to fill in the blanks – Was it me? What did I miss?
In workplaces, it undermines trust and morale. Personally, it can be even more painful.
Estrangement – especially when it’s sudden or unexplained – is a form of silent grief. Scroll any social platform and you’ll see how common it’s become for adult children to cut off contact with one or both parents. The reasons vary – unresolved conflict, mismatched values, unmet expectations, past trauma – but the emotional fallout is immense.
Ghosting shows up in many forms: adult children cutting off parents, friends drifting away without notice, colleagues disengaging. And it leaves emotional scars.
Dominic Pettman, in his book Ghosting: On Disappearance, explores the psychological toll of this behaviour, describing it as a kind of metaphorical death, where the ghoster disappears without explanation, and the ghosted is left without closure. That silence invites self-doubt. It can erode a person’s sense of self-worth, professionally and personally.
And when employees carry that kind of grief or uncertainty into work, it affects their focus, energy and ability to engage. This isn’t something you can easily “leave at the door.”
As HR and executive leaders, we need to be more attuned to this quiet distress. That might mean:
- Being more compassionate around sudden drops in performance
- Creating spaces where it’s OK to talk about personal challenges
- Training leaders in relational intelligence, not just task management
Why does ghosting happen?
There are different reasons. Some are understandable. Some less so.
- Avoidance of discomfort – people would rather say nothing than have a difficult conversation.
- Low accountability – especially where systems don’t reinforce closure or communication.
- Digital disconnection – tech has made it easier to ignore without consequence.
- Burnout – for some, the overwhelm is so great that they simply can’t engage one more time.
- Cultural shift – norms have changed. What Gen X saw as rude, Gen Z may see as neutral self-preservation.
But that doesn’t make it OK. As organisational psychologist Dr Adam Grant puts it:
“Avoiding conflict doesn’t eliminate it. It just lets it simmer until it boils over.”
And ghosting, in many ways, is conflict avoidance at scale.
IMPLICATIONS FOR HR AND LEADERSHIP
Ghosting erodes trust and can significantly impact an organisation’s reputation and employee morale. For HR professionals and senior executives, addressing this issue is paramount.
But the antidote to ghosting isn’t only policy. It’s presence.
If we want to build workplaces that don’t go silent when things get hard, we need to make it psychologically safe to:
- Speak up
- Change your mind
- Disagree
- Exit with respect
What ELSE CAN leaders do to reduce ghosting and foster connection?
Here are a few ideas:
Set the standard for communication
Make it clear, from recruitment to internal operations, that your organisation values timely and respectful communication. Establish expectations around response times and closure, and ensure leaders walk the talk.
Close the loop, always
Follow up with every candidate – not just those interviewed. Commit to responding to every single applicant, no matter how far they progress. It’s a small act of respect that reflects your culture. Treat others as you would want to be treated.
Make feedback a habit
Establish systems for regularly giving and receiving feedback. It reduces uncertainty, builds trust, and prevents silent drop-offs.
Equip your team
Invest in training that highlights the emotional and cultural impact of ghosting – and why professionalism matters, even in uncomfortable moments.
Use tech with a human lens
Leverage recruitment and communication tools to keep candidates and employees in the loop – but make sure automation doesn’t replace empathy.
Model what you expect
Whether it’s responding to job seekers, acknowledging tough conversations, or addressing tension directly, show people what respect looks like. Culture is shaped more by behaviour than by values posters.
FINAL THOUGHT: It’s not about the silence, it’s about the signal.
When someone ghosts – whether it’s a candidate, a colleague or a friend – it can feel like an attack. But more often, it’s an avoidance strategy, not a personal slight. And it says more about the “ghoster” than the “ghostee”.
That doesn’t make it acceptable or hurt less. But it does give us insight.
As leaders, we’re in a position to:
- Normalise honest closure over silence
- Acknowledge the emotional toll of ghosting, especially in personal life
- Design cultures where it’s easier to speak up than to opt out
Because work is a human system. And when communication breaks down, culture follows close behind.
